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I had a black dog. His name was Depression.

我有一条黑狗。他的名字叫抑郁。

Whenever the black dog made an appearance, I felt empty and life just seemed to slow down.

无论何时，只要他一出现，我就会感到空虚，以及度日如年。

He could surprise me with the visit for no reason or occasion.

他总是没有理由、不分场合的突然出现。

The black dog made me look and feel older than my years.

这条黑狗让我看起来比实际苍老许多。

When the rest of the world seemed to be enjoying life, I could only see it through the black dog.

在其他人都在享受生活时，我却只能与黑狗为伴。

Activities that usually brought me pleasure suddenly ceased to.

那些曾经带给我快乐的事，忽然间都失去了色彩。

He liked to ruin my appetite.

他让我提不起食欲。

He chewed up my memory and ability to concentrate.

他啮噬我的记忆，夺走我名为“专注”的能力。

Doing anything or going anywhere with the back dog required super human strength.

有这样一条黑狗在身边，不管做什么或是去哪里，都极其耗费气力。

At social occasions, he would sniff out what confidence I had and chase it away.

在社交场合，他但凡嗅到我那一点儿自信，就会把它赶走。

My biggest fear was being found out. I worried that people would judge me.

我最大的恐惧，就在于被人发现我与黑狗为伴。我害怕别人会对我指指点点。

Because of the shame and stigma of the black dog. I was constantly worried that I would be found out.

这种对黑狗的羞愧和耻辱，让我常常担心别人会察觉我的病状。

So I invested vast amounts of energy into covering him up. Keeping up an emotional lie is exhausting.

所以我费劲精力去把他藏起来。隐藏自己的情绪真让人筋疲力尽。

Black dog could make me think and say negative things.

这只黑狗让我思想阴暗，言语消极。

He could make me irritable and difficult to be around.

他让我变得易怒，难以相处。

He would take my love and bury my intimacy.

他夺走我的爱，让我无法与人亲近。

He loved nothing more than to wake me with highly repetitive and negative thinking.

他最热衷的事，莫过于一遍又一遍用负面的想法让我辗转难眠。

He also liked to remind me how exhausted I was going to be the next day.

他还喜欢提醒我第二天会是何等的煎熬。

So, I became rather good at self-medication which never really helped.

所以，我开始自行治疗，可这并没有什么用。

Having a black dog in your life is not so much about feeling a bit down, sad or blue.

当你的生活中有这样一条黑狗，就不仅仅是觉得低落、伤心或忧郁这么简单。

At its worst, it is about being devoid of feeling altogether.

最糟糕的情况是你被它剥夺了所有的感受。

As I grew older, black dog got bigger and he started hanging around all the time.

随着年龄渐长，黑狗也越长越大，他开始无时不刻不缠在我身边。

I chased them off with whatever I thought might send him running.

而我则想尽一切方法把他赶走。

But more often than not, he would come out on top.

可他往往还是占了上风。

Going down became easier than getting up again.

至于我，陷入低迷则变得比重新振作要简单得多。

Eventually I felt totally isolated from everything and everyone.

最后，我感觉自己与所有事、所有人，都彻底孤立了

The black dog had finally succeeded in hijacking my life.

黑狗最终绑架了我的生活。

When you lose all joy in life, you can begin to question what the point of it is.

当你失去了生活的所有乐趣，你就会开始质疑活着的意义是什么。

Thankfully this was time when I sought professional help.

谢天谢地，我在那时开始寻求专业的帮助。

This was my first step towards recovery and was a major turning point in my life.

那是我走向痊愈的第一步，也是我生活的一个重要转折点。

I learnt that it does not matter who you are, the black dog affects millions and millions of people.

我认识到，这样的情况与你个人并无关系，有成千上万的人都遭受了黑狗带来的困扰。

It is an equal opportunity mongrel. I also learnt that there was no silver bullet or magic pill.

事情降临到谁头上的几率都是一样的。我也了解到，这世上没有什么灵丹妙药。

Medication can help some and others might need different approach altogether.

有一些人可以通过药物治疗控制住病情，有些人则还需要其他的手段一起作用。

I also learnt that being emotionally genuine or authentic to those close to you can be an absolute game changer.

我同样了解到，对与你关系亲近的人敞开心扉，坦承对待，也能让你扭转困顿的状态。

Most importantly I learnt not to be afraid of black dog and taught him a few tricks of my own.

最重要的是，我明白了不要对大黑狗心存恐惧，还教了他一些小窍门。

The more tired or stressed you are the louder he barks.

你越是疲惫，越有压力，他就越是吠叫得肆无忌惮。

So, it is important to learn how to quiet your mind.

所以，学会静下心来是很重要的

So, go for a walk or run and leave the mutt behind.

所以出去散散心，跑跑步，把那只笨狗甩在身后。

Keep a mood journal; getting your thoughts on paper can be cathartic and often insightful.

写下你的心情日记；把想法写在纸上，既利于你宣泄情绪，也有助于你把事情想清楚。

Also, keep track of the things you have been grateful for.

你也可以记录一些令你愉快的事情。

The most important thing to remember is that no matter howbad it gets,

最重要的一点是，不管情况多么糟糕，

if you take the right steps, talk to the right people, black dog days can and will pass.

你都要记住，只要按照正确的步骤去做，和正确的人交谈，黑狗缠身的日子终究会过去。

If you are in difficulty, never be afraid to ask for help.

如果你深陷困境，不要害怕向他人寻求帮助。

There is absolutely no shame in doing so; the only shame is missing out of life.

这没有什么不好意思的。唯一值得羞耻的，是因此错过美好的人生。

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