TED演讲：老师如何帮助学生渡过创伤
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“为了改变某个孩子的人生……我立志讲述我个人的故事。”教育工作者莉莎·戈德温如是说。在这次动人的演讲中，她分享了自己如何在老师和学校咨询师默默的、坚定的支持下，战胜了自己的童年创伤——并展示了教育工作者能如何通过分享自己的故事帮助学生和家庭渡过苦难。
演讲者：Lisa Godwin
演讲题目：老师如何帮助学生渡过创伤
Everyone has a story, and that story is filled with chapters that have made us who we are today. Those early chapters of that story sometimes are the ones that define us the most.
每个人都有一个故事，这个故事有许多章节，把我们塑造成今天的模样。故事里最初的章节有时是最能定义我们的篇章。
The Center for Disease Control has estimated that over half of our nation's children have experienced at least one or two types of childhood trauma. That adversity can have lasting effects. When I began to have opportunities to speak and advocate for students and for teachers, I found myself uniquely positioned to be able to speak about childhood trauma. But I had to make a decision first.
根据美国疾病控制与预防中心的估计，国内有超过半数儿童经历过至少一种或两种童年创伤。这些早年的逆境会造成长久的影响。当我开始有机会为学生和教师发声倡议时，我发现自己处在了一个独特的能够为童年创伤发声的位置。但我必须先做出一个决定。
I had to decide, did I want to just share the bright and shiny parts of my life, you know, those ones that we put out on social media that make us all look perfect, or did I want to make myself vulnerable and become an open book?
我必须决定，我是只想分享我生活中光鲜亮丽的部分吗，就是那些我们晒在社交媒体上让我们显得完美的部分；还是想把自己变得脆弱，变成一本打开的书？
The choice became very clear. In order to make a difference in the life of a child, I had to become transparent. So I made the commitment to tell my personal story. And this story is filled with people that have loved me and taken care of me and grown me. And have helped me overcome and heal. And now it's time for me to help others do the same.
选择已经很清楚了。为了改变某个孩子的人生，我必须变得透明。于是我立志讲述我个人的故事。这个故事充满了爱过我的、照顾过我的、让我成长的人。他们帮助我克服困难，治愈伤痛。而现在到了让我以同样方式帮助他人的时候。
When I first started school, I was the picture of normalcy. I was from a good family, I was always dressed nicely, had a smile on my face, I was prepared for school. But my life was anything but normal. By this time, I had already become a victim of sexual abuse. And it was still happening. My parents didn't know, and I had not told anyone else. When I started school, I felt like this was going to be my safe place. So I was excited.
当我刚开始上学时，我看上去和普通人一样。我出身良好，总是穿着得体， 脸上带着笑容，做好上学的准备。但我的人生和普通完全沾不上边。此时，我已经成为了性虐待的受害者。并且还在进行中。我父母并不知道，我也没有告诉任何人。当我开始上学时，我觉得这会是我的庇护所。所以我很兴奋。
Imagine my dismay when I met my teacher, Mr. Randolph. Now Mr. Randolph was not my abuser. But Mr. Randolph was the epitome of everything that scared me the most in my life. I had already started these self-preservation techniques to where I took myself out of positions where I was going to be alone with a man. And here I was, as a student, I was going to be in a classroom with a man every day, for a year of school. I was scared; I didn't trust him. But you know what, Mr. Randolph would turn out to be my greatest advocate.
想象一下，当我遇到我的老师，兰道夫先生时感到的惊愕。兰道夫先生不是性侵我的人。但兰道夫先生是生活中最让我害怕的一切的缩影。我已经学会了一些自保手段，让自己不会置身于要和男人独处的情景。而现在，作为一名学生，我整个学年中的每一天都得和一个男人在教室中共处。我很害怕；我并不信任他。但你猜怎么着，兰道夫先生之后会成为我最有力的支持者。
But in the beginning, oh, I made sure he knew I did not like him. I was noncompliant; I was that kid that was disengaged. And I also made it really hard on my parents, too. I didn't want to go to school, so I fought them every morning, getting on the bus. At night, I couldn't sleep, because my anxiety was so high. So I was going into class exhausted. Which, exhausted children are cranky children, and they're not easy to teach, you know that.
但一开始，我保证他清楚我不喜欢他。我不听话；我是那个脱离集体的小孩。另外我给父母也造成了巨大麻烦。我不想上学，所以我每天早上都和他们闹，不想上校车。晚上，我睡不着觉，因为我太焦虑了。于是我上课时非常疲惫。疲惫的小孩会很暴躁，也很难教，你们都懂的。
Mr. Randolph could have approached me with frustration, like so many teachers do with students like me. But not him. He approached me with empathy and with flexibility. I was so grateful for that. He saw this six-year-old was tired and weary.
兰道夫先生可以选择恼怒地训斥我，就像很多老师对待我这种学生那样。但他没有这么做。他对我表现出了同理心和灵活性。我对此无比感激。他看到这个又累又倦的六岁小孩。
And so instead of making me go outside for recess, he would let me stay in and take naps, because he knew I needed rest. Instead of sitting at the teacher table at lunch, he would come and sit with the students at the student table.
于是他没有强迫我在课间时去外面，而是让我待在教室里小睡，因为他知道我需要休息。午餐时他没有坐在教师席，而是会过来和学生们一起坐在学生席上吃饭。
He would engage me and all my classmates in conversation. And I now look back and I know he had a purpose for that, he was listening, he was asking questions. He needed to find out what was going on. He built a relationship with me. He earned my trust. And slowly but surely, those walls that I had built around myself he started chipping away at, and I eventually realized he was one of the good guys.
他会鼓励我和我所有的同学一起聊天。现在再回首，我知道他当时是特意那么做的，他在聆听，在询问。他想要知道发生了什么事。他和我建立起了关系。他赢得了我的信任。于是慢慢地但也不容置疑地，他开始一点点剥开我在自己身边筑起的高墙，最终我也意识到了他是那些好人中的一员。
I know that he felt like he wasn't enough. Because he made the move to talk to my mom. And got my mom's permission to let me start seeing a school guidance counselor, Ms. McFadyen. I started seeing Ms. McFadyen once or twice a week for the next two years. It was a process.
我知道他觉得自己做得不够。因为他下一步是和我妈妈谈话。并且得到了我妈妈的许可，让我开始去见一位学校的辅导咨询师，麦克法登女士。接下来的两年里，我开始每周和麦克法登女士见面一到两次。这是个过程。
During that time period, I never disclosed to her the abuse, because it was a secret; I wasn't supposed to tell. But she connected the dots, I know she did, because everything that she did with me was to empower me and help me find my voice. She taught me how to use mental images to push through my fears.
在那段时间里，我从没有跟她透露我受到的侵害，因为那是个秘密；我不应该告诉任何人。但她推理出了真相，我知道的，因为她与我做的一切都是为了给我力量，帮我找到自己的声音。她教我如何使用精神图景克服我的恐惧。
She taught me breathing techniques to help me get through those anxiety attacks that I would have so often. And she role-played with me. And she made sure that I could stand up for myself in situations.
她教给我呼吸技巧，帮助我度过那些频频发生的焦虑发作。她还和我进行角色扮演。她确保我能在各种情况下捍卫我自己。
And the day came where I was in the room with my abuser and one other adult. And I told my truth. I told about the abuse. Immediately, my abuser began to deny, and the person I disclosed to, they just weren't equipped to handle the bombshell that I had just dropped on them. It was easier to believe the abuser rather than a child.
终于有一天，我和我的加害者以及另一个成年人共处一室。我说出了真相。我说出了被虐待的事情。侵犯我的人立刻开始否认，而我诉说真相的那个人也实在不具备应对我刚刚砸下的惊天炸弹的能力。比起相信一个小孩，相信加害者更加轻松。
So I was told never to speak of it again. I was made to feel like I had done something wrong, again. It was devastating. But you know what, something good came out of that day. My abuser knew that I was no longer going to be silent. The power shifted. And the abuse stopped.
所以他告诫我再也不要提起这档事。他再次让我觉得我做错了事。这让我深感挫败。但你们知道吗，那一天还是有好结果的。我的加害者知道了我不会继续保持沉默。权势的平衡发生了改变。对我的侵犯也停止了。
But the shame and fear of it happening again remained. And it would remain with me for many, many years to come.
但受侵犯的耻辱，以及担心其再度发生的恐惧没有消失。并且在未来的很多很多年都常跟在我身边。
Mr. Randolph and Ms. McFadyen, they helped me find my voice. They helped me find the light out. But you know what, there are so many kids that aren't as fortunate as me. And you have them in your classrooms. That is why it's so important for me to talk to you today, so you can be aware and you can start asking the questions that need to be asked and paying attention to these students, so you too can help them find their way.
兰道夫先生和麦克法登女士帮助我找到了自己的声音。他们为我照亮了前进的路。但你们知道吗，还有很多孩子没有我那么幸运。他们就在你的教室里。这也是为什么今天我能和你们谈话很重要，这样各位就能觉察，开始问那些必须提出的问题，并对这些学生多加留意，这样你们也可以帮助他们找到前进的道路。
As a kindergarten teacher, I start my year off with my kids making box biographies. These are two of my students. And I encourage them to fill those boxes with things that tell me about them and about their life, what's important to you, you know? They decorate them, I mean, they really take time, they fill them with pictures of their families and of their pets, and then I let them present them to me and to the class.
作为一名幼儿园老师，我在学年开始时教孩子们制作 “简历盒子”。这是我的两名学生。我鼓励他们在盒子里装满关于他们自己、关于他们生活的东西，他们觉得重要的东西。他们装饰好盒子，我的意思是，他们真的花了心思，在盒子里装满了家人和宠物的照片，然后我让他们给我和全班展示盒子。
And during that time, I am an active listener. Because the things they say, the facial expressions that they give me, the things they don't say can become red flags for me and can help me figure out what their needs are. What is driving them to maybe have the behaviors that they're showing me in class. How can I be a better teacher by listening to their voices?
在展示过程中，我积极地聆听着。因为他们说的话，他们给我的表情，他们没有说出口的话，可以为我敲响警钟，帮助我发现他们的需求。是什么驱使他们 在课上表现出某些举动？我怎样才能通过倾听他们的声音成为一名更好的老师？
I also make times to develop relationships with them, much like Mr. Randolph did with me. I sit with them at lunch, I have conversations with them at recess, I go to their games on the weekends, I go to their dance recitals. I become a part of their life. Because in order to really know a student, you've got to infuse yourself into their lives.
我还花时间同他们建立关系，就像兰道夫先生和我那样，我和他们坐在一起吃午饭，我在课间和他们聊天，我在周末出席他们的比赛，我去他们的舞蹈排练，我成为了他们生活的一部分。因为要想真正了解一个学生，你必须让自己融入他们的生活。
Now I know some of you are middle school teachers and high school teachers, and you might think that those kids have already kind of developed, and you know, they're on autopilot at that point. But don't be deceived. Especially the kids that you think have it all together, because those are the ones that might need you the most. If you were to look at my yearbook, you would see me on about every page, because I was involved in everything. I even drove a school bus.
我知道各位有些是初中老师或者高中老师，你们可能觉得那些孩子已经发展成型了，在这个时点他们已经开启了自动驾驶模式。但不要上当。尤其是那些你以为心智成熟的孩子，他们可能才是最需要你的人。如果你看了我的班级年鉴，你会发现几乎每页都有我的身影，因为我参与了所有事情。我甚至还开过校车。
So I was that kid that teachers thought was the overachiever, the popular person, the one that had it together. But guys, I was lost. I was lost, and I wanted someone to ask me, "Lisa, why are you here all the time, why are you throwing yourself into all these things?" Did they ever wonder, was I running away from someone, was I running away from something? Why did I not want to be in my community or in my home? Why did I want to be at school all the time? No one ever asked.
我还是孩子时，老师们以为我成绩斐然、深受欢迎、心智成熟。可我其实很迷茫，我很不知所措，我想要有人问我，“莉莎，为什么你一直待在这里？为什么你要一头扎入这么多事情？”他们是否曾疑惑，我是否在逃离某个人，我是否在逃离什么东西？为什么我不想待在自己社区或者自己家里？为什么我想一直待在学校？不曾有人问过。
Now don't get me wrong, all overachievers in your schools are not victims of abuse or trauma. But I just want you to take the time to be curious. Ask them why. You may find out that there is a reason behind it. You could be the reason that they move forward with their story. Be careful not to assume that you already know the ending to their story. Don't put a period where a semicolon should be. Keep that story going and help them know that even if something has happened traumatic to them, that their life is still worth telling. Their story is worth telling.
请各位不要误解，并不是说你学校里所有成绩突出的学生都是虐待或创伤的受害者。但我只是想让大家花点时间去探索。问问他们为什么。你可能会发现其背后有原因。你可能会成为他们的故事继续前进的理由。要小心不要臆断你已经知道了他们故事的结局。在原应是分号的地方，不要打上句号。让那个故事继续，并帮助他们知道，即使他们遭受过创伤，他们的人生仍然值得讲述。他们的故事值得述说。
Now in order to do that, I really feel like we have to embrace our own personal stories as educators. Many of you might be sitting there and thinking, "Yeah. That happened to me. But I'm not ready to share." And that's OK. The time will come when you will feel it inside your soul that it's time to turn your past pain into purpose for the future. These children are our future. I just encourage you to take it day by day. Talk to someone. Be willing and just open.
那么为了做到这点，我真的觉得作为教育工作者，我们应当拥抱自己的个人故事。你们可能有很多人正坐在那里心想，“没错。我经历了那种事。但我没做好分享的准备。”这并没有问题。终有一天，你的灵魂深处会觉得是时候把自己过去的苦痛化作未来的意义。这些孩子们就是我们的未来。我只想鼓励你们 一天一天慢慢来。找个人聊天。变得愿意分享，变得坦率。
My life story came full circle in the spring of 2018, where I was invited to speak to a group of beginning teachers and mentors. I shared my story, much like today with you, and afterwards I had a lady approach me. She had tears in her eyes and she quietly said, "Thank you. Thank you for sharing. I cannot wait to tell my dad everything that I heard today." She must have seen the perplexed look on my face, because she followed up by saying, "Mr. Randolph is my dad."
我人生的故事在2018年春天画出了一个完整的圆。当时我应邀 对一群新人老师和导员发表讲话。就像今天这样，我分享了我的故事，之后一位女士走过来，她眼含热泪，轻轻地说，“谢谢。谢谢你分享的故事。我等不及告诉爸爸 我今天听到的一切。”她或许看到了我脸上的不解，因为她补充说道，“兰道夫先生就是我的爸爸。”
Audience: Aww.观众：哇……
Lisa Godwin: "And he often wonders: Did he make a difference? Today, I get to go home and tell him, 'You definitely made a difference.'" What a gift. What a gift. And that prompted me to reach out to Ms. McFadyen's daughter as well, and to share with her what an impact Ms. McFadyen had made.
莉莎·戈德温：“他常常会发问：他有没有帮助他人改变呢？今天，我可以回家告诉他，‘您确确实实改变了他人的人生’。”何等的馈赠。何等的恩赐。而这件事也促使我联系上了麦克法登女士的女儿，并同她分享麦克法登女士曾对我有何等影响。
And I wanted her to know I have advocated for more funding for guidance counselors, for school social workers, for psychologists, for nurses, because they are so vital to the mental and physical health of our children. I'm thankful for Ms. McFadyen.
我也想让她知道，我已经倡议为辅导咨询师、学校社会工作者、心理学家、护士提供更多资金，因为他们对孩子们的心理与生理健康至关重要。我对麦克法登女士感激于心。
I once heard someone say, in order to find your way out of the darkness, you have to find the light. Today, I hope that you leave this place and you seek opportunities to be the light. For not only students but for adults in your classrooms, in your schools, in your communities. You have the gift to help someone navigate through their trauma and make their story worth telling.
我曾听人说过，为了找到离开黑暗的道路，你必须找到光亮。今天，我希望各位在离开后，能寻找成为光亮的机会。不仅为了学生，也为了你的教室里、学校里、社区里的成年人。你的禀赋可以帮助他人跨越痛苦与创伤，让他们的故事值得讲述。
Thank you.谢谢各位。
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