内容

• How to Rid Yourself of Interpersonal Relationship Problems

• Cut the Gordian Knot

• Desire for Recognition Makes You Unfree

• What Real Freedom Is

• You Hold the Cards to Interpersonal Relationships

这几章主要讲了什么是真正的自由。渴望得到认可是很正常的事情，然而我们要警惕“认可”这两个字所带来的枷锁。不要害怕被别人讨厌。我们需要有被讨厌的勇气，去抵抗对于认可的渴望，去帮我们实现课题分离。做一件事情，我们要问问自己，什么才是最重要的。

To live one’s life trying to gauge other people’s feelings and being worried about how they look at you. To live in such a way that others’ wishes are granted. There may indeed be signposts to guide you this way, but it is a very unfree way to live. To human beings, this is an entirely natural desire, and an impulse. Kant, the giant of modern philosophy, called this desire “inclination.”To live in such a way is only to be a slave to one’s desires and impulses. Real freedom is an attitude akin to pushing up one’s tumbling self from below.

很喜欢文中的这句话，The separation of tasks is not the objective for interpersonal relationships. Rather, it is the gateway. 课题分离，看似自私，但却能帮我们打开与他人建立良好人际关系的那扇门。我们与他人的关系，其实跟我们与自己的关系不是相互独立的，而是内嵌的，复杂的。因此好的关系是需要一定距离的，不能太近也不能太远。太远了，这个关系就断了，而太近了，这个关系就会与自己的关系产生撞击摩擦。

Familiarity breeds contempt---William Shakespeare

英语表达

01 “全知全懂”

• 摆出一份很懂的样子 I’m sure you’d put on that understanding face too, and say to me.

• 我不是要杠你，Well, I don’t mean to contradict you, but ...

• 我不同意 it just doesn’t sit right with me.= I don't agree

Know-it-all is a typical type of person who will put on that understanding face and say to you, "Well, I don’t mean to contradict you, but it just doesn’t sit right with me. "

02 事少钱少的工作

• 关系不好 rocky relationship

  My relationship with my father became increasingly strained.

• raise his hands against me = lay his finger on me.

• 轻松的工作 cushy job

• 忽悠 coax sb into doing sth = sweet-talk sb into doing sth

  armtwist= twist one's arm into doing sth

• 真是精彩呀 That’s some conclusion.

• 不同意 I have a bone to pick with you.

• 然并卵 to no avail

• 我不听 If you are angry, nothing will sink in.

I have a rocky relationship with my parents, although they never raised their hands against me. After I graduated from high school, they began to coax me into targeting a cushy job. For them, working in a government department or agency is some job. For me, such kind of job is cut-and-dried. When we have a conversation about my future career, I always have a bone to pick with them. However, trying to talk them out of it is to no avail. At the drop of a hat, my anger crept in. When everyone is angry, nothing will sink in. A happy dinner would always end up as a disaster. As a result, my relationship with my parents became increasingly strained. It is difficult to come to terms with the emotion of “not approving”, but I know, it is not my job. (这个只是随便写写，我爸妈不是这样子的)

03 别跟喷子讲道理

• 不好的 snide remarks.=snarky

• 喷子 leave snide and snarky remarks

• 别瞎猜 I wish you would stop making arbitrary guesses.

• 咱们要讲道理 knock some sense into sb.

• 策略 Then let’s try another tack.

  tack 船，航行方向；helm舵；at the helm= In charge

• 老子无所谓 nonchalantly.=laid back

• 方法 Stand up is my gateway skill.

To handle diabolical haters who are so clinging to leaving snide and snarky remarks, trying to knock some sense into them and stop them from making arbitrary guesses is not the right tack. A gateway is just to say, It’s not your task,” and walk away nonchalantly.

04说唱音乐

• 不一样 It is antithetical to sth

• 死板的 stock = formulaic = cut-and-dried=garden variety

• 某人 so-and-so

• 过渡句That is to say, = by which I mean，这些小句子能体现讲话的同理心

• 我字典里就没这词 I had not known my father possessed such a word in his vocabulary.

Hip-hop is antithetical to pop music. Accept it out and out or reject it through and through is a stock approach. That is to say, we should have our own judgement and not follow the music preference of so-and-so. Critical thinking is a word that should be possessed in everyone's vocabulary.

最近断断续续在看《说唱听我的》，很喜欢俞天时跟望江晴的《天上的星星不说话》，是一首很有力量的作品。喜欢说唱的盆友们，《说唱听我的》第6期，导师公演值得一看。

最后，To 的小词语

• to boot = as well

• to a T = exactly

• to the letter=with adherence to every detail.

• to the hilt=completely

• cut and dried= But there was no flesh and blood in it.

图片来源:网上