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原创雅思写作 8 分范文分享

孟庆伟Justin 孟庆伟英文写作 2022-01-07

我在教一对一写作定制课时,很重要的一部分是改写学生作文中的句子。我会面对面或者通过屏幕共享的方式来改写:同样的意思,同样的词汇量,会怎么写,同时我会讲解为什么我会这么写。我相信这样手把手的示范是最好的教学。Practice what you preach. "Show, don't tell."


最近给一个一对一学生布置了一个雅思题目,正好是我今年 3 月 7 日在东京考的雅思(G 类)大作文题目。当时一考完试,我就跑回离考场几分钟的酒店,凭记忆把大作文给敲了出来。一些地方肯定会有出入,但大体上(90%)应该还原了考场上的写作。


两周后收成绩,写作 8 分。这也是继 2017 年后,第二次到了雅思写作 8 分。


这也从侧面说明过去几年我的英文写作有所保持,而这和我日常的工作和学习不无关系。从 2018 年底运营现象级英语社群开始,我每周都会保持大量的英文阅读输入,为社群训练营写“每日一词”、“每周一段”、“句式临摹”等专属学习素材,准备直播和语音反馈,改写会员的句子。The best way to learn is to teach.


此外,我还一直在身体力行“迷你写作”理念,在朋友圈和微博用英文记录自己阅读《经济学人》和原版书的心得,观影感受,以及生活中的观察和思考。也就是说,我把英文写作拆分成了毫不费力而且可以习惯化的 mini chunks。



虽然我在去东京前做了备考,写了几篇作文,但我知道功夫主要在平时日复一日的练习和强化。对于英语教育从业者来说,第一身份应该是学生,不知疲倦的笨学生。


下面是 3 月 7 日东京场雅思(G 类)大作文题目和我的原创文章。希望对你的英文写作有启发。


题目:

Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (具体表述可能有差异)

作文/Justin 


Promotion, argue some, should only be reserved for those who have worked a long time for a company. This is not a novel notion, and it is not difficult to understand why. But from where I stand, I strongly disagree with the statement. 


It is understandable that experienced employees are an important asset for a company. They toil over the years and grow with the company, sharpening their professional skills and showing a level of commitment and loyalty. Naturally, managers will give priority to experienced employees when considering promotion. 


This practice, however, is largely misguided for two reasons. For one thing, compared with a seniority-based promotion plan, a merit-based one may be more sensible. There is no denying that experience counts, but competence and performance should be weighed more heavily towards an employee’s evaluation because after all it is what a person adds to the value of a company that counts, not the mere number of years. Plus, this will also incentivize old employees to work harder and in some cases, more innovatively. 


Less obvious, but no less vital is the signaling effect of the seniority-based approach. A company’s recruitment and promotion preferences reflect its core values and philosophy, and in today’s world of competition and transparency, job seekers are likely to take notice of what a company promotes. A promotion plan based on seniority will not likely attract the young, ambitious, and hopeful workers, because they would think that climbing up the corporate ladder is out of their control, which does a disservice to a company. 


To conclude, I would argue that high positions are better kept for the able, those who can prove through performance that they deserve the coveted top spots. The merit-based plan is fair to everyone and is conducive to companies themselves.


(Word count: 301)


文中有很多小词是我平时非常熟悉的,之前也反复使用过:


手把手教你怎样在英语作文中活用小词 1

手把手教你怎样在英语作文中活用小词 2


文中形成肌肉记忆的写作方法和习惯我之前也分享过:


怎样写好一篇英语作文?手把手解析给你看。

怎样临摹好一个英语句式?手把手示范给你看。

怎样精学《经济学人》文章,提升英文议论文写作?


当然,如果你想把英文写作变成一种日常习惯,毫不费力地坚持迷你写作,在考试和写作任务来临时能够从容应对,一个更好的选择是加入我创办的迷你写作训练营:


想跟我学习英文写作?你的机会来啦


你可以每周练习迷你写作,获得书面和语音反馈,听我的主题进阶讲解,还可以和热爱英文写作的小伙伴碰撞交流。相比一对一定制课,这个训练营性价比非常高。


如果你不满足于提升英文写作,还想扩大英文输入,在 Eric 老师的指导下读读原版书,在晨读中练口语磨耳朵,欢迎加入 2021 年现象级英语社群。新老会员都可以享受早鸟价。点击下图了解详情。



P.S. 关于这篇作文和雅思写作,有问题欢迎在评论区留言~


孟庆伟 Justin

个人微信 ID:justinqmeng

现象级英语联合创始人

初中英语 70 分(满分 100)

两次获雅思写作 8 分,口语 8 分


题图:Alexander Calder


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