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英文写作有观点却展不开?试试这个方法吧。

孟庆伟Justin 孟庆伟英文写作 2022-01-07

“我写英语作文时,观点倒是能想到,可就是展不开,写两句就实在写不下去了。” 


如果你也有这样的问题,那么今天这篇就是为你准备的。


下面我以上一篇公众号文章(原创雅思写作 8 分范文分享)中范文的倒数第二段为例,分享下我自己是怎样展开观点的。


题目:

Some people think that only staff who worked in a company for a long time should be promoted to a higher position. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (具体表述可能有差异)


选段/Justin 


Less obvious, but no less vital is the signaling effect of the seniority-based approach. A company’s recruitment and promotion preferences reflect its core values and philosophy, and in today’s world of competition and transparency, job seekers are likely to take notice of what a company promotes. A promotion plan based on seniority will not likely attract the young, ambitious, and hopeful workers, because they would think that climbing up the corporate ladder is out of their control, which does a disservice to a company. 


(Word count: 85)



你通过这篇文章可以看到我的思考,但可能又看不到我思考的全貌。你看到的是橱窗里的蛋糕(成品),看不到的是背后的烘焙(我具体的思考过程)。不过一旦看到了思考过程,观点展不开的问题就解决了。


我试着通过批注的方式来更直观地展示我的思考过程:


Less obvious, but no less vital is the signaling effect of the seniority-based approach. A company’s recruitment and promotion preferences reflect its core values and philosophy [What do you mean by “the signaling effect”?], and in today’s world of competition and transparency, job seekers are likely to take notice of what a company promotes [Why does “the signaling effect” matter?]. A promotion plan based on seniority will not likely attract the young, ambitious, and hopeful workers [Then what? From prospective employees' perspective], because they would think that climbing up the corporate ladder is out of their control, which does a disservice to a company [So/then what? From company's perspective]


你现在应该已经发现了,这段话的展开过程其实无非是我自问自答了一些问题


段首句是观点。这段其他的支持句都是在解释这个观点。你也可以这样理解:我在提出段首句观点后,你头脑中可能会有一系列的问题想挑战我,比如:


  • 你段首句中说的 the signaling effect 具体指什么呢?

  • the signaling effect 为什么重要呢?

  • the signaling effect 对求职者和年轻员工有什么影响呢?

  • the signaling effect 对公司有什么影响呢?


这些都是非常合理的问题。事实上我自己也会提出这些问题。写作的过程就是以一种自然、连贯的方式逐一回答这些合理问题的过程。所以,“写两句就实在写不下去了”或许不是真正的问题;真正的问题是没有想到足够多、足够相关的问题。


当然,如果这篇不是雅思作文,或者可以不受考试时间所限,上面这段话完全可以扩写成 2-3 倍的篇幅。这正好也是最近一个读者关心的问题:怎样扩写?


下面我就试着把上面的那段话改写/扩写成一篇 250 字的短文:


Less obvious, but no less vital is the signaling effect of the seniority-based approach. If the adage "you are what you eat" makes dietary sense, there is also a great deal of truth in "you are what you promote". A company’s promotion policy may not explicitly state its corporate culture, but it is unequivocally indicative of it. 


What employees a company promotes is often consistent with its core values. If a worker who always goes out of his way to help her colleagues is rewarded, it is evident that the company prizes givers. If a risk-averse director advances faster than his peers, risk-taking is not worth it. Similarly, ian ill-performing manager gets demoted or fired, it is not difficult to infer that performance is a key metric. You are what you promote. And it is only natural for employees to calibrate their priorities and behavior based on such indicators. 


In today’s world of competition and transparency, job seekers are likely to take notice of what a company values, too. The most talented and creative are spoiled for choices. Armed with multiple high-paying job offers, and assuming all else being equal, they would choose the company that provides the best career advancement: one that rewards talent and hard work, not experience. A promotion plan based on seniority will not likely appeal to them, because they would think that climbing up the corporate ladder is out of their control, which does a disservice to a company. 

(Word count: 250)


你看,无话可说的问题是不是解决了?


掌握了这种方法,一篇 800 字的论述文就可以搞的定了。如果平时可以写这么多,那么考试写 250 字的文章就完全不在话下了。


功夫在平时。


如果你想把英文写作变成一种日常习惯,毫不费力地坚持迷你写作,在考试和写作任务来临时能够从容应对,一个更好的选择是加入我创办的迷你写作训练营:


想跟我学习英文写作?你的机会来啦


你可以每周练习迷你写作,获得书面和语音反馈,听我的主题进阶讲解,还可以和热爱英文写作的小伙伴碰撞交流。相比一对一定制课,这个训练营性价比非常高。


如果你不满足于提升英文写作,还想扩大英文输入,在 Eric 老师的指导下读读原版书,在晨读中练口语磨耳朵,欢迎加入 2021 年现象级英语社群。新老会员都可以享受早鸟价。点击下图了解详情。



孟庆伟 Justin

个人微信 ID:justinqmeng

现象级英语联合创始人

初中英语 70 分(满分 100)

两次获雅思写作 8 分,口语 8 分


题图:Alexander Calder


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